Today I was reflecting on a seminar I spoke at several months ago. I was speaking to a group of 30 or so participants. The speech went smoothly and I had many people approach me afterward to discuss how they will apply what they learned and how they will change their behavior. As much as I like to hear those comments I can't help looking back on my experience. That experience teaches me that if 8 people out of those 30 actually apply the training (i.e. change fundamental behavior) that would be above average. I started thinking about the contrast between the participants "intent" and the "reality" that very few of them would really change anything at all. As I started to dwell on this fact, I noticed one of the participants in the back of the room straightening some chairs. It was a pleasant surprise! I immediately walked over to him and thanked him for his help in re-setting the room. As I started talking with the young man, I happened to ask him why he stuck around to help out. He reluctantly explained that he was trying to overcome a bad habit. Recently his wife had pointed out that he "always" leaves a mess when he leaves a room. So, to try and overcome that habit he has been straightening up every time he gets up to leave a room. I asked him how it was working? He went on to tell me that at first it wasn't easy for him. After all, there were several good habits he was trying to form. When I asked him how he was able to juggle so many "demands" or "challenges," he responded:
"Well, I have learned to only focus on one habit per day. I have 5 behaviors I am trying to change and I work on a new one each day. As soon as I reach the 5th one I start back over. Since there are 7 days a week, I am always practicing a new habit on a different day!"
It seemed pretty simple but very powerful. Within that one concept the participant was able to draw three important points about behavioral changes. The first point touched on prioritization. It is impossible to effective work on 5 different behaviors all of the time. By shifting the priority level of each behavior he was able to make great strides. Secondly, he was able to conclude that in order to change behavior he had to be consistent. Consistency is key when trying to drop or develop new habits. The last point that he touched on was re-evaluating the approach. Many people start out with a great plan, but unless you constantly re-evaluate the effectiveness of your plan, you will often veer way off course.
The participant then went on to explain how her would apply a similar approach to implementing the training. In fact, he had already begun to prioritize the new behaviors I had been trying to educate the class on. He had also scheduled a time to re-evaluate the implementation of his plan. Eventually, he left (after a considerable amount of cleaning up) I realized there was one final piece that warranted analysis. He only changed the behavior he was displaying after it had been communicated that is should change. This is key because so many managers fail to effectively provide coaching around behavior with their teams. But, if there is no communication there will be no change. If there is no change than the inefficiencies will continue. So if you really want to change your behavior or the behavior of another follow these steps:
- Identify- the areas of concern
- Prioritize- the level of importance
- Plan- how to overcome
- Execute- the plan
- Re-evaluate the plan
- Re-peat
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